Teams I Like to see Lose

One of my coworkers was complaining this afternoon because he was bored, and I hadn’t updated my blog recently enough for him, so he nothing new to read. First off, Noah, you’re a slacker, get back to work. Secondly, I meant to write something yesterday but I didn’t get around to it. I also meant to play a lot of poker yesterday, but didn’t do much of that either. I happened to check ESPN’s website at halftime of the Kansas/OU game and saw that Kansas was getting their ass handed to them, so I decided I’d watch the rest of the game rather than blog or play cards. There aren’t really a whole lot of teams that I root for, but there a bunch that I root against and Kansas is definitely one of them. So with that being the reason that I didn’t play cards last night, and not wanting to have to listen to Noah complain, I decided I’d post a list of teams that I enjoy watching lose. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while anyway.

I apologize if your favorite team makes this list. You can at least take solace in the fact that if your favorite team is on the list then it’s because they are either perennial championship contenders, or they are strong rivals of one of my favorite teams, or they in some way did something that hurt one of my teams traumatizing me in the process.

So here it is. Teams I like to see lose, in no particular order.

• New York Yankees. Big surprise here. They fact that they just buy a playoff team every year is a bit annoying. If they would just go into a ten year playoffless streak I think I’d forgive them and no longer root against them. On second thought I’d still hate them. Boooo.
  
• New York Mets. I wasn’t around in 1969, but I think Cub fandom is hereditary so I think I was born with a natural hatred for the Mets. I did root for them over the Yankees during the last subway series, so they have that going for them.


• Notre Dame. Specifically their football team, but I also enjoy a good Notre Dame basketball loss. They wouldn’t be so bad except that you can’t go anywhere without having to hear about Notre Dame. Their football team has a contract with NBC, so every game is televised and overly promoted. And they are so over-hyped. And their fans are so obnoxious. I think I’ve rooted for Notre Dame once in my life and it was against BC a few weeks ago so that U of I would be the only remaining undefeated team.


• Any Football Team from Florida. Possible exception for Jacksonville who I don’t care about one way or the other. I hate the big three Florida college teams because it seems like at least one of them is in the National Championship hunt every year. I hate the Dolphins because they were the only team to beat the ’85 Bears and because of the way the members of their undefeated team celebrate each year when the last undefeated team loses.


• Green Bay Packers. I’m a Bears fan. Do I need any further explanation?


• Minnesota Vikings. Ditto.


• Kansas. I wasn’t a big Kansas fan to start with. I think it’s that whole consistent winner thing, but when Bill Self left the Illini to coach there, he turned me into a hater. I’ve really enjoyed their current losing streak and the fact that the team Self gave up is undefeated.


• Duke. They are like the Yankees of College Basketball. I wish they’d just have one or two years where they don’t make the tournament.


• New York Knicks. I really don’t watch pro Basketball much, but I remember them playing like a bunch of thugs during one of the Bulls championship runs.


• LA Lakers. They also win too much, and I’m so sick of Shaq. I’m nowhere near a basketball expert, but based on the limited times I’ve seen him play I would contend that I could do better if I was his size. (and yes I know he’s not on the Lakers anymore).


• St Louis Cardinals. Until recently I didn’t mind the Cards. The Cubs were never any good, so who cares if the Cardinals were? I saved my hated for those dirty Mets. Over the past few years as the Cubs have actually contended, my dislike for St. Louis has grown considerably.


• Houston Astros. Same as above.


• Dallas Cowboys. I don’t know why, I just don’t like them.


• Michigan. I’m not quite sure why I hate Michigan so much. I think they’re the evil villain of the Big Ten. I went to the Big Ten Tournament last year, and as they were listing of the schools, each school would get booed by the fans from its biggest rival. The whole entire stadium booed Michigan.


• Chicago White Sox. Growing up a Cubs fan, the Sox were always an afterthought. I would go their games if I had tickets and root for them, but I didn’t really care too much. They seemed so unimportant. I think my dislike for them started once inter league play began and the games between them started to mean something. I honestly think that the obnoxiousness of the White Sox fans, and their sheer hatred for the Cubs is what turned me against the Sox. It seems like the whole focus of the Sox is just to be better than the Cubs everything else is secondary. To make matters worse, my best friend, my brother (just to spite me), most of my co-workers and my wife’s entire family are Sox fans. It’s like I personally know every single Sox fan in existence. And I have to listen to them tell me how much better the Sox are than the Cubs all the time. Oops, got a little carried away there. Where was I?


• Any ranked team, playing an unranked, or lesser ranked team. Unless that team is Illinois, or sometimes a Big Ten team against a non-Big Ten Team, or if the unranked team is Notre Dame. You have to root for the underdog.

I think that about covers it. I’m sure there are a few others that I dislike, but if the teams listed above are playing, you can bet I’m hoping they lose.